Here we go Again with Grief

Martha's Vineyard approximately 1997

So somehow I believed I wrote The Grief in Goodbye as a reflection of the rollercoaster of a school year I experienced 2024-2025. Now starting school year 27 I now realize that my professional experience has been filled with trauma and riddled with grief. With both happy and sad memories standing side by side as if to mimic the yin yang. Often leaving me heavy in my mind, body, and spirit. Wondering when I would experience the acknowledgment of growth and the relief one should feel in a workspace that made sense for parents, staff, and students. My leadership experiences in the school system still feel surreal. Working in neighborhoods where the trauma was high the trust was always low. I can confidently say I had 3 key Administrators that helped me to grow (AAA, TH, and EB). Allowing me space and the necessary support during really tough times will never be forgotten. I know I struggled with understanding them selecting me for leadership roles that were not of interest to me initially. Many times frustrated and confused as to why they just did not pick, “someone else to do it”. I also know that I would have never developed the skill set that I have today without those opportunities. 

Now as a Professional School Counselor I am grappling with the ideas of the boundaries of this space and how to address adjusting to a new environment. Of course the needs are different but the grief remains the same. I have used several things to describe grief on my social platforms. I don't feel they have gotten enough attention, YET. 

#griefisalittleBIGword  #Merry-Go-RoundofGrief #thegriefingoodbye #ohgoodgriefkc

I have more to share that I have not yet edited to post. 

Watching my current staff navigate this journey together from the start of the school year reminded me of the Grief and Anxiety that I would also have to face.

Realizing the tool kit that I have will constantly be adjusted. Acknowledging that my staff sees me as a source of support separate from just engaging with student based concerns. 

Sitting clearly disengaged from the activity monitoring many of the teachers' expression of their own grief, fears, and anxiety about the return to school. 

Some excited, others visibly trying to mask their discomfort with change. 

Feeling as though I could see inside their thoughts and forcing myself to look away to avoid offering a consoling comment. 

Sitting in my thoughts for the moment reminding myself that I will be responsible to manage my grief as well. Acknowledging the grief of my freedoms- of sleep, movement, and sunshine with my coffee.

Thinking of the teacher that has found comfort working with a team, a grade level, or subject, and now has to start over.

Thinking of the students that are entering school for the first time, arriving at a new school, transitioning from a grade band, getting an unexpected teacher and those preparing for their first, last day.  

Thinking of the parents that are dropping off their scholars for their first day, and navigating the newness of entering a new found support team.

My role comes in contact with all of it and I yet still have to manage myself. 

Just a few things to remember during these uncomfortable moments. 

Be Kind. Take time for yourself. Sit with your thoughts, make sure they are not fears. Allow yourself grace and if needed, be ok with the tears. 

Sometimes when you stop to process things - your mind needs time to understand that everything is not actually a mess. Things fall apart but we can always practice ways to stress less."